Using Empowering Language
Using Power-Language to Empower & Motivate Yourself
ELENI PETRAKI CEO online2win
“International Business Solutions &
Digital Life 4 Business Expert”
Using Empowering Language
The power of the spoken word…
Your power lies in your word… which words are you using?
Language is about more than communicating facts and figures. We manifest our lives through our thoughts, words and actions. Language is therefore a powerful tool in that we can use it in creating the lives we desire. So what is “empowering language” and how do we use it to consciously manifest?
As is true in most areas of personal growth, before we look at the tools themselves, a first step in transforming your use of language into a tool for empowerment is gaining awareness of how it feels to be conscious of your language. The next time you are having a conversation with someone, notice the signals that come up in your body and mind in reaction to the language being used by you or by the person or people you are speaking with; both during and after the conversation. For example, when I am speaking to someone and they say something that feels less than supportive, will feel a twinge in my solar plexus(This relates to the energy of the third chakra which is where we hold our personal power).
What about you, how do you feel after talking with someone? Do you feel drained? Confused? Excited? Invigorated? Look both, at your reactions and what occurred, to find out what triggered them. Do this and you will begin to understand how empowering language can feel for you. As you become more aware, you can choose how to use empowering language tools. While there are universal guidelines, specific words often have unique meanings for individuals on a mind/body/soul level.
Three Components of Empowering Language
Here are a three main areas to look at when discussing empowering language
1. Choosing the correct words
First, we look at specific words that are disempowering and learn to shift into using moreempowering words in their place. For example, if you consistently use the word “maybe”, trymoving to a word that is more empowering for you. Note that we are all unique, a word that is empowering for me may not be for you, see how you personally experience the word and findwhat works for you.
2. Meaning what we say and saying what we really mean
Second, we look at the intentions within our communications and determine if they are coming from a place of empowerment. If they are not, we learn to shift them. For example, if someone asks you to get together and you don’t want to, instead of saying sure and then cancelling,
you may find a kinder and more authentic way to approach the topic.
3. Knowing when to speak
Third, we learn the relationship between empowerment and silence when we learn to temper our speech in order to regain our power. For example, so often we believe we have to say
something where silence could be the more empowering choice.
Replacing Disempowering With Empowering Language
Learning to use empowering language and eliminating words that subconsciously sabotaged my success, was transformational for me personally. In my next report (part 2), we are going
to take this to a whole different level but I wanted to get your mind thinking about this as soon as possible.
Language, as our expression of thoughts and feelings, has the power to transform. It’s inextricably linked to our view of reality and more is often said “between the lines” than we realize. By changing our language, we can affect our view of reality, which in fact is, our reality.
I’ve observed a significant shift in countless students who learn how to replace disempowering language with empowering language. This means that, just by changing our language, we can move from playing the victim to having choices, from feeling powerless to being in control of our life, from fear to love.
Say these out loud and notice the difference in how you feel as you speak the words
● “I really want to…” → “I will…”
● “I have to…” → “I choose to…”
Some of these suggestions may seem trite and downright silly. How could the simple use of a
word as “like”, “hope”, or “but” really make any difference?
|How often can you replace…||…with empowering language?|
|I should; I ought to||I will; I choose to|
|I need to||It’s important to me to|
|I have to||I choose to; I want to|
|I can’t||I am not willing to|
|I’ll try to||I will; I intend to; I aim to; I commit to|
|I should have [done]||Next time I can; Next time I will|
|I am just; I am only||I am|
|You know; like||[nothing needed]|
|kind of; sort of||[nothing needed]|
|I would like to say/acknowledge/do||[just make the statement; these prefaces diminish it]|
Personally, I have replaced most uses of “but” with “and”. I picked this because, when I read the empowering language table above, it was the entry most charged for me! My initial reaction was, “‘But’ is a perfectly good and useful word. Why should I replace it!?” The word “but” separates two clauses representing things that are in some way in opposition.
The implication is often that one or the other must be chosen, or one or the other is true.
“BUT” and “IF”… (A disguised excuse)
For example, when you hear someone say “I would go to Digital Marketing Seminar BUT I can’t affordit…” What the person is actually saying is that he is “not going to Digital Marketing Seminar” AND this is his excuse or reason why.
Or, I would be more successful IF I had more moneyfor Social Media and Digital Marketing… Sure, this sounds like alegitimate reason not to be successful, but you can only make money or excuses, not both.This is what sets entrepreneurs apart.
An empowering way to respond would be, “I would love to go to Digital Marketing Seminar AND I’mdoing everything in my power to find the money.”OR “I don’t have much of a Social Media and Digital Marketingbudget AND I am committed to generating an abundance of leads”. All of a sudden you havean empowering context to solve the problem versus letting your lack of funds hold you back.
The word “and” just conjoins two things in a list, with a sense of inclusivity. Technically, the word “but” expresses more information about the relationship of the things being described. Using an inclusive conjunction (“and”) serves better to hold space for both, expanding the possibilities and revealing the true intent behind your words.
Another important piece of using empowering language is using “I” statements. These areclaims a person makes about themselves using the pronoun “I” rather than “you”.
For example, imagine I said, “You know how you sometimes don’t want to get up in the morning? Having the aroma of freshly brewed coffee reach your nose can really help!” I am, in fact, telling you something about myself: “Sometimes I just don’t want to get up in the
morning. Having the aroma of freshly brewed coffee reach my nose can really help!” Expressed using “you” and “your”, I’m implying that you should agree. However, you may never have trouble getting up in the morning, or you may not even like the aroma of coffee.
Rather than assuming these things and telling you what will help you, it’s much cleaner if I just claim what is true for me. Then, if you notice that resonates with you, you can offer your agreement.
The value in using “I” statements is ownership. When I use “I” statements I am owning what I say as my view or reality. I am not projecting it onto “you”. This facilitates me separating my issues from your issues so that I can deal with mine and don’t have to take responsibility for dealing with or responding to yours.
That’s a win for me. How about for you?
The following statements are designed to be commitments that you make to yourself. If you don’t believe inside what you are saying, you are being inauthentic and disempowered. Commit to taking control of your language and see what happens.
“I’m serious and ready to create my digital life.”
I am committed to the process and I am willing to do whatever it takes to transform my reality into the highest possible version of what it can be. I want this as much, if not more, than anything I have ever applied myself to. I understand that if I treat this process with the same respect and dedication that I give to the other things in my life that matter to me, I am guaranteeing myself the best possible outcome.
“I do my absolute best at all times.”
If I’m going to do this, then I am going to do it properly. (If you have a pattern of starting things and then quitting once disenchanted, think seriously if you have the willpower, desire, and/or determination to complete the challenge. No one will judge you if you don’t make any progress. Everyone will laugh at you if you quit… 🙂
“I am fully committed to creating a best possible life.”
I’m making a pledge to myself and my family. I am doing this because I deserve it.
“I blame no one.”
If I fail, or continue to struggle, I will not blame God, my mentors, the community, DEA, the weather (or planetary alignments). I will take responsibility for my lack of commitment, discipline and work ethic and blame no one, including myself. I will do my best to examine myself and seek to understand why I continue to repeat the same behaviours even though I recognize that they don’t serve me.
“I am open minded.”
I am willing to change and let go of even my most strongly held beliefs and convictions if I have to. I am willing to challenge old belief systems, paradigms, conditioning, and habits.
“I finish what I start.”
Even though this may not have always been the case in the past, I am committing to, finish what I start and complete the task at hand. I am consciously making the decision to become less easily distracted. Henceforward I will stop jumping around, chasing easy-button solutionsand shortcuts.
“I am ready to earn my way.”
I am willing to do whatever it takes to earn my way. I am willing to invest in myself in order to increase my value to society as this is the only legitimate way to increase my income. I am not looking for a hand-out and realize that no one owes me anything. I will not assume anything. Nothing is “given.” Everything is earned.
“I am a leader.”
I always lead by example.
“I respect others.”
I understand that we are all on different paths to different places and we all come from a unique place to begin with. Thus, I have no clue what the other person may be dealing with. To judge them is to assume that I know them and what’s best for them and I’m smart enough not to be that arrogant or narrow-minded.
I respect others as I would like to be respected and never do anything to intentionally hurt another participant. I seek out the best and see the best in others.
“I will act with integrity at all times.”
I am willing to be honest with myself and because of that I am also able to be honest with others. I know that in the end, the only person I can lie to is myself anyways and I am making the commitment today to speak from the heart, to say what I mean, and mean what I say.
I no longer use passive aggressive behaviours or communication, gossip or innuendos.
I will be direct, upfront, and authentic at all times. I do not talk behind peoples’ backs but rather speak with them directly and without judgement. If I slip up or make a mistake, I own it confidently and do my best to make it right.
“I am happy.”
I understand that anger and frustration are fear-basedemotions. I realize that projected guilt(used to make someone else feel bad, or blame for myself,) is also harmful andcounterproductive 100% of the time. Instead, I build people up and bring out the best in them.
“I am grateful.”
I take nothing for granted and expect no one to solve the problems (or situation) that I have created for myself. I understand that at an energetic level, gratitude, abundance, love, peace, and happiness are all the same vibration. I understand that the energy I carry about with me not only affects me, but everyone else around me whether it can be tangibly felt or not.
I am committed to staying in a place of gratitude, even at my lowest points in order to ensure that I do not slip back into the same old habits and patterns that come from old fear paradigms; paradigms such as poverty consciousness, lack, and limitation.
“My intentions are good and my heart is in the right place.”
In everything I do, my intention is to do it in a way that is in the best interest of myself, my family, my community, and my customers. I understand that as long as the decisions I make are sponsored by the right intentions and motives, there is a significantly greater chance of my life moving in the right direction.
Knowledge without action is pointless. Take immediate, decisive action and shift the power of
your word in your favour.
- Action >STUDY: Print and file this document in your binder
- Action >MONITOR:Make a conscious effort to monitor your self-talk& spokenword
- Action >DARE TO SHARE: Notice how differently you feel. Notice how yourperspective is changing. Notice how powerful and confident you feel… Write a blogpost about this, sharing your personal experience and insights into this topic!
ELENI PETRAKI CEO online2win Global
Zurich – International
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